Stuck in Limbo (Part 2): Common Objections to Taking Action and How to Overcome Them

In the first part of this series, we explored how relationship ambivalence—being stuck between staying or leaving—can paralyze your life.

We also started unpacking some of the biggest reasons people stay in this painful limbo, like feeling that their spouse won’t participate or thinking they don’t have the time.

Today, we’ll dive deeper into even more common objections and why taking action is the best way to break free from this emotional purgatory.

 

More Common Objections to Taking Action

“I can’t afford it.”

Financial concerns are real, especially when thinking about therapy, coaching, or even divorce. But staying stuck in ambivalence has a hidden cost—one that’s much greater than any financial investment. When you stay in a state of indecision, the emotional and mental toll seeps into every aspect of your life, including your work, your parenting, and your own well-being.

Investing in help now—whether to save the marriage or to bring it to a peaceful conclusion—will ultimately save you more in the long run. The emotional, financial, and mental health costs of staying in a broken marriage or going through a messy, unplanned divorce are far greater than any upfront costs of getting professional support.

“What if I make the wrong decision?”

The fear of making the wrong decision can be paralyzing, especially when the stakes feel so high. But staying in ambivalence is still a decision—a decision to live in emotional limbo. There’s no guarantee that any choice will feel 100% right, but what I know from experience is that any decision, any movement, will bring you closer to clarity. It's about creating forward momentum. Once you start moving, whether that’s toward healing the marriage or moving toward separation, you’ll gain the insight you need to navigate the next steps with confidence.

“I’m afraid of hurting my children.”

Many parents stay in unhappy marriages because they believe it's the best way to protect their children. But children are incredibly intuitive; they sense tension and emotional distance, even if they don’t know the specifics. By staying stuck in ambivalence, you may be modeling for them that indecision and unhappiness are acceptable. Moving forward, in any direction, allows you to model strength, intentionality, and the pursuit of a fulfilling life—which are valuable lessons for your kids. Children do best when they see their parents living a life that’s authentic and healthy, whether that’s together or apart.

“I’m afraid of being alone.”

The fear of loneliness is real, and the idea of stepping out of a long-term relationship can feel terrifying. But staying in a marriage where you feel isolated or disconnected is a different kind of loneliness—one that eats away at your sense of self. Taking steps to work on yourself, whether the marriage survives or not, empowers you to reconnect with who you are. And if the marriage does end, you’ll be better prepared to build fulfilling relationships in the future, knowing your worth and having done the inner work.

“I feel guilty for even considering leaving.”

Guilt can be a powerful emotion that keeps people stuck. Many feel that leaving a marriage means they’ve failed or broken a promise. But staying in a relationship where you feel disconnected or unhappy isn’t honoring that commitment either. If you feel that way, it’s likely that your spouse is feeling disconnected and unhappy too. It only takes one person being brave enough to do something differently to create change in the relationship. The work you do to grow, heal, and seek clarity is not selfish—it’s necessary. And whether you stay or go, taking steps to understand your needs and values is the best way to honor your relationships, including the one with yourself.

“It’s just a rough patch, and things might get better.”

Sometimes, people stay in ambivalence because they’re holding out hope that things will improve on their own. But the reality is, without intentional action, things rarely change. If you’ve been stuck in this pattern for months or years, waiting for a shift can keep you stuck indefinitely. Moving toward a solution—whether it’s working to heal the marriage or seeking a peaceful separation—puts the power back in your hands and gives you control over your future.

 

The Only Bad Choice is Doing Nothing

Here’s the hard truth: staying in this limbo is the worst decision you can make.

The longer you stay ambivalent, the more everyone suffers.

Your partner doesn’t know how to move forward, your children sense the tension, and you lose touch with your own needs and desires. I know it feels impossible to make a decision right now, but the only wrong choice is staying in limbo. Everything else is forward movement and the first step to effecting change.

Any movement is good movement.

Whether that means seeking professional help to restore your marriage, or getting support to end it peacefully, the important thing is to move.

Doing something, anything, is better than staying stuck.

Final Thoughts: How to Move Forward

So what’s next? How do you begin moving out of this awful place of ambivalence?

1. Get help – Whether you want to work on the marriage or end it, seek professional support. A therapist, mediator, or coach can help you gain clarity and develop a plan that honors your relationship and will allow you to begin to forge a path forward.

2. Talk to your spouse – Even if they’re not interested in professional help, having an open and honest conversation about how you’re feeling is a first step. Even if it doesn’t change things, it will bring you closer to a decision.

3. Think about the future – Ask yourself what you want your life to look like in 5 or 10 years. Do you see yourself still stuck in this cycle of indecision? Or do you want to look back and know you made a choice, one way or another, to create a life you can be proud of?

Relationship ambivalence is agonizing. If you’re in that place of uncertainty, take it from someone who’s been there: you don’t have to remain there. Moving in any direction will bring relief, clarity, and ultimately, peace.

It’s time to step out of limbo. Your future self—and your children—will thank you.

If any part of this resonates with you, I want to invite you to explore what’s possible. Whether you're working to heal your relationship or are facing the unknown of moving on, you don’t have to do it alone.

I’d love to have a conversation—no pressure, just a chance to explore what could be on the other side of your fear. Let’s see if together we can redefine what’s possible for you.  Book Your Discovery Call here.